Of fear and bolusing…

So for the longest time I have been afraid of over-bolusing for meals, snacks and such. Doesn’t matter that I’ve been on the pump for years. Over-bolusing has always freaked me out. I hate having a low blood sugar. The lowest I have ever been that I can clearly remember is 32. That was scary. I just remember feeling awful, testing, and showing my meter result to my wife. She got me some juice and all was well. Here in lies one of my issues with going low, I for some reason lose the ability to speak. It is the craziest thing. Doesn’t happen all the time but when it does it just knocks me on my rear. I can’t explain it. I know I need to say something I just physically cannot force my body to do it.  The symptoms for a low are pretty straightforward, they can include any of the following

You see these are just some of the symptoms but I get all of them and then some. 

So why post this you ask? Well, after a kick-ass weekend in Las Vegas (more about that in another post) I actually did a good job bolusing for my meals and such during the day. Nighttime is a different story but again, more on that next time. Today I had a snack after lunch and when I went to bolus my bg was 96. 96! that is perfect for me! Then I go to put in my carbs (~53g ) for my Cheez-Its and I couldn’t bring myselft to activate the bolus because I was too afraid to go low.  Stupid thing is Cheez-Its are very easy on me. They hit me within a few minutes and a normal bolus would be fine, normally. But since dinner is coming up and I have to drive home from work (only 3 miles but still) I just couldn’t do it. Finally I was able to force the ACT button to start the bolus but boy was it hard.

I would have thought that this would get easier after I have been on my CGMS since I can keep track of my bgs better and it has gotten a tad better. I hate being low! I tend to use the square wave bolus feature a little more than I should but I am slow discovering the beauty of the dual wave bolus. Take a look at these:

Square wave  

   

Dual Wave

Both allow you to trail the insulin over a period of time, but the dual wave gives you a “double-hit” and I LOVE that.

I will be experimenting more with the dual wave I am sure. It came in handy in Vegas! Just uploaded my data to CareLink, a great tool by the way. And it is off to the endo on Wed of next week.